July 2012
olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
me: falls on face trying to put socks on
the difference between "gamer girls" and girls who...
gamer girl: omgggg modern warfare 4 lyfeee
girls who play video games: GOD DAMN IT MARIO. IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD TO STAY ON RAINBOW ROAD FOR MAYBE TEN SECONDS. OH MY FUCKING GOD PEACH YOU FUCKING WHORE. YOU REALLY HAD TO USE THE THUNDER CLOUD AND FUCKING SHRINK ME. REALLY. THIRD. I'M IN THIRD PLACE OH MY GOD YES THANK JESUS LORD ABOVE IN THE HEAVENS. FUCK. NO. I FELL OFF. I SWEAR TO GOD MARIO I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUR ITALIAN PLUMBER MOTHER FUCKING ASS. i hate my life.
Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?
Son: I smoked weed, dad
Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot
Batman: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
Bruce Wayne: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
People of Gotham: Shut up Bruce, we're trying to figure out who Batman is.
Batman: I'M BACK!
Bruce Wayne: ME TOO.
People of Gotham: NO ONE CARES BRUCE. WHO THE FUCK IS BATMAN?
Just got back home from watching The Dark Knight...
viva-la-rose:
These are some of my emotions… If they don’t make a Batman and Robin movie, I’m going throw myself off the bridge.
^ they wont.
